There is nothing
more suffocating
in heartbreak, more drenched
in the sweat
of regret,
more suffocating
in heartbreak, more drenched
in the sweat
of regret,
than seeing you,
a woman who had survived
everything the world so callously
crumbed you,
a woman who had survived
everything the world so callously
crumbed you,
Leaving school in the third grade
so your stubby, young fingers could work
the fields instead of play in them.
Poverty so hungry
that you swallowed the racism
with a grace that you wore softly
over your cafe con leche skin.
A brother found
face down in the Rio Grande at a time
when people could more easily Emmett Till
gay, brown bodies away.
A stolen yellow rose bush,
Popo’s ever-growing love, uprooted
from the house you shared with him.
Diabetes buffeting itself
on your sight and your legs.
say that you should just
die. You screamed it hoarse
with the kind of pain
you don’t earn in a day.
I had never seen you cry like that.
die. You screamed it hoarse
with the kind of pain
you don’t earn in a day.
I had never seen you cry like that.
Not when you buried
my uncles, not when you buried
Michael. This was different
and raw and all kinds of wrong.
my uncles, not when you buried
Michael. This was different
and raw and all kinds of wrong.
I’m sorry.
Only able to handle
one emergency at a time.
I am ashamed
to say that cancer moved faster
than the pace of old age.
one emergency at a time.
I am ashamed
to say that cancer moved faster
than the pace of old age.
And maybe,
I felt like you were always an emergency.
I felt like you were always an emergency.
As a child, I became an expert
at measuring out the insulin, tapping
the syringe so I could plunge the air bubbles out.
Pricking you in the stomach or arm.
Mixing sweetener into your orange juice
if your blood sugar dropped too low.
at measuring out the insulin, tapping
the syringe so I could plunge the air bubbles out.
Pricking you in the stomach or arm.
Mixing sweetener into your orange juice
if your blood sugar dropped too low.
You almost died more than once.
You were blind, but your tortillas
are still the roundest I have ever seen.
I didn’t mean to leave you
scraps and gristle when all you have ever done
is feed me.
are still the roundest I have ever seen.
I didn’t mean to leave you
scraps and gristle when all you have ever done
is feed me.
