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Sorry I Can’t Be With You

Sorry I Can’t Be With You

Bouquet of daffodils on a wooden background
They chose daffodils for the coffin. Yellow for spring,
baby’s breath tucked in with carnations. Never learned
the language of flowers. How strange,
detached, like watching a funeral
via YouTube livestream. I would have buried her like mummies,
with tokens, trivial pursuit cards, monopoly money, Scrabble tiles
with the numbers scratched off. She didn’t need me when we played
but appreciated the company. Afterwards, pointed to the Westie plates
on the wall – you’re the small one I’m the big one. You know
I love you. There’s a chance I would have loved her if she’d died
then. Laid bluebells on the grave. Forget-me-nots.
Would have visited on Mother’s Day.