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To Be Or Not To Be, That Depends On The Accent Mark
The Hyacinth Review
The Hyacinth Review

To Be Or Not To Be, That Depends On The Accent Mark

by
January 30, 2023
Field Language 1
Field Language 1, Warren Rohrer, 1990

Chanlee Luu is a Vietnamese-Chinese American writer from southern Virginia,…

I know three languages, have two tongues, and speak one voice. I transmute between generations and geographies. I had a slight Southern drawl that faded away, but I can never roll my R’s. My parents think I speak Vietnamese like a foreigner, but it is my native language. My school made me test for ESL, but I was the first to read a book in tiếng Anh. I do not know of notes or keys or octaves, but I know of the six different tones. I make my pitch higher when I’m Kiếm Lệ, so my friends think she’s cuter than me. Perhaps, it’s because I sound like a baby. Perhaps I am Bé. I am the youngest child in my family of four, so I am babied. I stand at a towering height of 4’11,” so my basketball dreams were busted. I fluctuate between 80 and 85 pounds, so the doctor marked it alarming. My bank account loves saving money when I shop in the kids’ section for clothes and shoes. My driver’s license is always ready for double-takes when I buy alcohol. I could probably eat free at IHOP if I wanted, but I am twice the age and honorable. I do not know what it’s like to reach the top shelf, but I know how to climb. Perhaps, it’s because I am tiny. Perhaps I am Bé. As a child, I slept with a búp bê named Amanda, my first bae. I talked to my stuffed dog, Smudge, because he was one of my ban bè. Now, all my relationships bể because I don’t know how to build them. I watch cartoons, their lessons much kinder than the cruelty in adult shows. I fail at countless interviews because talking is such a chore. I used to run around on playgrounds; now I’m too tired. I wash my dishes, fill up the gas tank, and write my funky little poems. Perhaps, being a child is easier. I wish I were perpetually Bé.
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Chanlee Luu is a Vietnamese-Chinese American writer from southern Virginia, currently working towards an MFA in creative writing at Hollins University. She received her BS in chemical engineering from the University of Virginia. She writes about identity, pop culture, science, politics, and everything in between. She can be found on Twitter @ChanleeLuu, and her work can be found in Free the Verse, Snowflake Magazine, the gamut mag, Cutbow Quarterly, & Tint Journal.

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