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Waiting For Cancer

Waiting For Cancer

Perhaps he has arrived,
the famous guest, circulating
in the crowded party of my body,
or perhaps he will not show,
having found better refreshment,
more stimulation elsewhere.
Lump or mass, tender to the touch,
indeterminate left inguinal lymph node,
measuring 3.1 x 1.4 centimeters.
The lesion has increased Doppler flow.
Consider ultrasound-guided fine-
needle aspiration for tissue diagnosis.
We know him from old, our family.
Twice he came for my father,
once to visit, once to stay.
That is often his way – the visit,
then the moving in – and between,
a gift left behind on the hall table.
A gift, its receipt enclosed, a number,
a value expressed as a number,
as all values can be expressed.
In this case, a statement of the odds
a discount of time, in currency
of years, five-years maturity.
The appointment made, the fine
needle waiting. As I am waiting.
As the lymph node is waiting,
indeterminate. The guest is here,
or not. Soon, the crowd will part,
and the dance will begin. Or not.

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